Good bye

I’ve been trapped again. Hit again. Smacked again. And I couldn’t help it! Despite my two-day-old resolution, I couldn’t help it. The worst of all – I feel cheated yet I can’t take my steps back. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself.

If you’ve read my last blog entry, you would instantly know what I’m talking about. Else, I’m not going to ‘recite’ that pain for a second time. Sorry for being rude. But I think it’s high time I changed my approach of handling and holding things in a better way to make it less bitter. The new plan of action should be – turn the tables. What do you say? Before you say what just popped into your head, I declare I won’t follow that method. It won’t come out of me. No matter how hard I try. I won’t be able to even the score, at least in this case. I may sound mad to you, but I can’t help that either. I am mad. Mad in love. And I hate myself for that. I hate myself for that. I hate myself for that.

If I didn’t utilize those keys (please refer to the last blog entry), why am I cribbing about it now? Why couldn’t I place things in order (I’m regretting being lying amid that huge dirty mess all the time)? Is there a respite now? Or a way out? Just for a day? Or for an hour? Or for a minute? I won’t go into seconds. You can very well see how restless I am at this moment, can’t you? My fault for my misery. Slap me. Because I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself.

Good bye!!