How are you, by the way?

I meet a good friend and a distant relative, after a long time, in two different instances. Very obviously, the customary “Hello” is followed by “How are you” in both the cases. Though it is a simple enough greeting, replying to it is a bit fiddly.

“How are you?” I asked a distant relative while meeting him after a considerable long time. And pat came the reply, “I am fine, and you?” I, feeling very formal, answered, “I am fine too, thanks.” And then followed the hardest moments…. I was forced to graciously pay attention to his words, and hoped someone rescued me out of that situation.

Now read the following conversation that came to pass when I, all of a sudden, ran into a very good friend of mine; again, I was meeting her also after a considerable long time.

“How are you, Pooja? It’s been long since we met last. How are things going on in your life? Hey, I heard that you had enrolled yourself in an interior designing course. How is that progressing?” – Just see how I bombarded my friend with scores of questions, without giving her any chance to answer ‘how she was’! And what followed my question-bank could be easily guessed now…. She poured out all the details of her life, shooting numerous questions at me at the same time, without caring to answer ‘how she was’!

Now let’s compare the two situations.

When I recall the first situation, I can easily summon up what I was thinking then. My relative, no doubt, must have become conscious that I was least interested in knowing what he had to say. The signs of boredom and world-weariness that enveloped my face were not only perceptible but also very much passing on the message to him to put a full stop at his narration. And so he did, at the very first moment he realised that weariness.

Now come to the second instance. I met a friend. I put an array of questions across and the how-are-you part faded away somewhere in the conversation. We both, for each other, could see how we were.

When we bump into a person we know hardly or for the namesake, we end up either fearing that he would be getting bored to death of our talks or we ourselves can’t put up with his tales. Quite the reverse, on stumbling upon someone we really are glad to see, life-stories become quite interesting for both the parties, isn't it?